My friends and relatives are beginning to resemble each other


This is what happens to us as life punches us, beats us up and knocks out our teeth. If you choose to have a front tooth implant, you too, will look like this for AT LEAST six months. Who knew it took so long to do this? (rhetorical question)

On the up side, I am accumulating quite a few stories at their expense. 

1) We are sitting in our living room at a party and character numero uno above spits his temporary front tooth across the room as he is speaking. For the rest of the night people said in worried voices “did he just lose that tooth?”…and thought “OMG could this happen to me? I shall begin to floss relentlessly.”

2) I am speaking to character numero dos above when she emits an ear-piercing shriek and hangs up on me. She was by herself at a public swimming pool…how bad could her problem be? I waited for her to call me back. She does. She had taken out her $800 fake temporary tooth and put it beside her to talk on the phone (it bugged her to talk, eat, be, etc.) when she saw a woman kicking it down the hall with an eeuuuuuhhhh attitude. Now, of course, she has a tooth that has been kicked (probably barefoot by a stranger I forgot to ask) down the hallway of the women’s locker room. I guess it could be worse…it could have been the MEN’s locker room.

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